If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
