lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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