did you get engaged???
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
