Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
