he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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