hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
