somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
