very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
