I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
