Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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