I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
