Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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