Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
