i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
