Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
