It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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