That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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