he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
