I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
