The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
wow bdsm is so cute
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
