do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
