HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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