What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
