I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize