I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
