Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
