Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize