I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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