Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
