I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
do herpes really smell.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
