If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
