wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
