Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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