Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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