I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize