I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
