So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize