He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
