what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
