there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
