I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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