It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
