I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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