I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was born a porn star she said
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
