Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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