Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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