Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
