they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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