If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
