Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
