I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
