he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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