Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
