from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
