Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
