He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
