My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
