Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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