Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you would pick up someone in the library
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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