we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
