okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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