I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize