i was rollin on her like bob the builder
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
