I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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