You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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