Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
