im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
