dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
